Dubya

I arrived at Newark airport late last night, and while waiting in line at passport control was subjected to a televised speech from Bush about how newspapers should not be allowed to report on shady anti-terror measures enacted by himself and Congress since we are currently at war. It's extremely embarrassing to be an American with this idiot representing us, and reminded me of some of the reasons I'd forgotten I had for leaving the country. Enjoy the joke below, I'm going to get a quick shower before the England-Portugal game...

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."