Patience

I get a lot of comments about how patient I must be because of my job, or thank yous from patients for being so kind and patient, I've even had co-workers comment on my patience. And it's ironic, at least to me, because I only really have patience at work. Ok, that's not true, let's say I only really have patience for other people. Most other people. Because I certainly don't have patience for myself. I am definitely my own worst critic, and hold myself to high standards I would never subject anyone else to, and put myself down for not meeting those standards. I am also in a phase where I will take a book and skip through, reading bits and pieces from what's ahead, including the ending. I am one of those drivers who has a bit of a lead foot, and a mouthful for bad drivers even though I'm shouting to myself (except in panic moments which I've had ever since a bad accident a little over a year ago, in panic moments I've got nothing to say). I want the things that I want to happen now, and I hate it when I feel like something's missing in my life but I can't figure out what it is. Which I've been feeling lately. And though I've been trying hard to live day by day, it's really hard to break a lifetime habit of always looking forward to something or other. Here I am almost 7 months into being in the UK, and though I've done a lot, I feel there have been a lot of missed opportunities too. (I'm probably feeling that way at the moment since I don't have much planned in the way of traveling for the next couple of months, unlike this summer.) Anyway, I think this always looking forward to something is what makes time go so quickly. I mean, I don't really feel like I've been here 7 months. And where did the summer go? I was just getting warmed up!